american friend

I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself, I seem like someone else.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man.
And I've had so many men before, In very many ways, He's just one more.
Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love, Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this. What's it all about?
Don't you think it's rather funny, I should be in this position.
I'm the one who's always been So calm, so cool, no lover's fool, Running every show.
He scares me so.
I never thought I'd come to this. What's it all about?
Yet, if he said he loved me, I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope. I'd turn my head.
I'd back away. I wouldn't want to know. He scares me so.
I want him so.
I love him so.

This is a Lloyd/Webber number, I think.

Walking the Walk

Walking the Walk
good

Angry

Anger is the way it felt yesterday, now I feel calm again.

being thin

wenttosee her today, scary to see how thin she is, she longs for help and it is not available in her town, she has sent her kids away. The kids are scared she will die of starvation and so am I. The crisis team come to see her from time to time and tell her that they can treat the eating disorder but cannot live her life, she must do that.........."what is the point of all this suffering she asked?" I left her to some home and feel scared that I have to leave her alone, alone and alone. She shed some tears and said some fine words that are the rights words, but there is something amiss........some unnamed longing.

young girl at work

told me she is breaking up with her chap because he wants a baby and she does not. I wonder why she feels that way?

really ill......

the girl has starved herself for ages now and her body has packed up and she cannot speak anymore. I have to visit tomorrow and haven't got a clue how to be with her, I think I will be kicked if I say this or if I say that. ! Happy Families. her sisters will not go to her and so they have voted me into the fray, I do not know the truth of her situation but it seems that she is well when she is pregnant and feeding babies and ill the rest of the time, and now her man has told her that he has had the chop.